- ONE SENTENCE REVIEW -

What can you say about an action/thriller with very little action, and no thrills?

- MORE INVOLVED REVIEW -

Mel Gibson plays a Boston police detective who welcomes his daughter home for a visit.  Just about five minutes into the film, and she is slaughtered on his front porch.  When he eliminates the possibility that she simply got in the way of a killing meant for him, he has to dig into her life to find out what was going on.

You might think: Okay.  Little mystery here.  Might work out to be an interesting film.

But what if I told you that the daughter worked for a big, powerful, rich corporation?  One that does a lot of classified work for the government, has its own incredibly well equipped security force, and has political clout from all the campaign donations they pay to a Republican senator?

I’ve got another question for you.  Is there anyone now reading this that couldn’t have written the screenplay yourself?

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A body was found in the landing gear compartment of a commercial flight that landed in Tokyo, Japan.  The flight was from New York, so he must have been in there at least, what, 10 or 12 hours between take off and landing?

They said the temperature in that area of the plane falls to -58 degrees Fahrenheit.  Not including the howling wind, or the lack of oxygen from the high altitude.

The news article reports that there doesn’t seem to be any signs of violence on the corpse, and the only injuries appear to be frostbite.  Doesn’t surprise me one bit.

Right now, it is 3 degrees Fahrenheit (-16 Celsius).

This isn’t all that uncommon for a lot of my readers.  I’m just mentioning it in an attempt to impress the readers who hail from the UK.

Well.  Anyone impressed?

A firefighter in my home town collapsed while finishing up on combating a house fire. Cardiac arrest.

Firefighters are scary-brave.  Run into a flaming building?  They do it all the time to save lives.

The stricken person is in the hospital, and the prognosis isn’t good.  Let us hope they recover.

John wrote a post where he discusses how Superman could attend school since he could not have received the necessary inoculations. The answer was, of course, that the character was created in 1938. Vaccinations were not required at the time, so the subject just never came up.

Reading through the comments left at John’s post are interesting. There is speculation as to how Kal-El’s adoptive Earth parents, the Kents, managed to survive raising a super powered child without being mashed into red paste the first time the baby had a tantrum. It seems that, in modern canon, Clark Kent’s superpowers didn’t develop until he was a teen. This avoids the whole murderous toddler question altogether.

Superman is one of DC’s most enduring and lucrative characters. Every month, writers for each title that Superman appears in must come up with a plot, a conflict of some kind, and a goal that the character strives to realize. The amount of material generated is amazing, and it isn’t surprising that there are slight shifts in the definitions of Superman’s powers, abilities, personality, and vulnerabilities. No matter what statement is made, there is either some story that renders that assertion to be conditional, or else there soon will be a story written that does so.

But I think there is one thing I can say that puts things into perspective. You see, Superman is an alien. He is also something of a dick.

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I was always fascinated by the old U.S.S.R.

The entire country, as well as the satellite states that made up the rest of the Warsaw Pact, suffered in the iron grip of a totalitarian government.  They were convinced that their odious social philosophy would eventually dominate all of humanity, just as they were convinced that they would have to destroy any society that opposed that domination.  Added to this was the ongoing attempts to root out any of their own citizens who weren’t sufficiently enthusiastic about living under oppression.

Paranoid to the point of madness.

The Soviets built a number of secret cities.  Towns that might house tens of thousands of people, but which never appeared on any map.  Officially the roads which led to these cities never existed, and the residents essentially dropped out of human memory while they lived there.  Most were built by slave labor, political dissidents and “enemies of the state” being worked to death.  More proof of the paranoia that gripped the entire culture.

This news article relates the tale of how one of those cities has been purchased at auction.  Abandoned at the break up of the Soviet Union, it has lain empty for more than a decade.  The final bid was $3.1 million USD.

A whole town for three mil.  Considering how shoddy Communist goods are, it probably is not worth the cash.

I’ve been involved in the shooting sports for 26 years, an instructor for 18.  My greatest pride is that I have never, ever had an accidental discharge. And neither have my students, at least as long as they were under my care.

This is remarkable in that the majority of my students were complete novices, and that their very limited financial means forced most of them to use antiquated firearms for their defense.  Old warhorses that had been squirreled away in a sock drawer by a grandparent many decades before.  Considering the lack of safety features that those old guns boasted, and you can see why I take such satisfaction in my perfect safety record.

Keep in mind that I only achieved that record through constant discipline.  Never let your guard down, always treat guns as the potentially dangerous tools they are, and you’ll be fine.  Forget this basic lesson at your peril.

Still, even experienced shooters sometimes let their good habits slip.  Case in point is this excellent post by Art.  It tells of a tragedy averted, and one that sadly was not.

Ever read the science fiction novel Podkayne of Mars by Robert A. Heinlein?  Part of his work that is what we would call young adult fiction, or novels for preteens and teens.

Set in the future when the Solar System has been colonized, the protagonist is a 17-year-old-girl who goes on an extended cruise to visit the inner planets.

I found the segment where her cruise ship docks at Venus to be rather prophetic.  The society there is geared around cut-throat, hyperactive commercialism.  Holographic projectors are everywhere, beaming advertisements right in front of your face.  every step is an exercise in concentration, as one has to ignore the ads and concentrate on the concrete world that will trip them up if they don’t pay attention to where they are putting their feet.

I say it was prophetic because little TV’s that spew ads are proliferating at a steady pace.  A big city taxi ride might not result in a holographic cacophony like in the book, but you are probably going to have to sit through some commercials that are displayed on a flat screen.

I was also rather nonplussed some years ago when I first came across a TV that was attached to the gas pump I was using to fill my car’s tank.  Sure, there isn’t much to do while the petrol is sloshing into the tank, but it only takes two or three minutes.  I don’t have such a short attention span that I need to have something shiny in front of my face every second.

But, annoyance factor aside, there really isn’t anything wrong with this trend.  I’m not sure if there is great value realized from advertising this way, but it isn’t like it is my money being spent.

I was reminded of this sort of thing when I came across this video for Hyper Reality.  According to the text, it was a project for a graduate student in architecture.

I’ve done this from time to time on the previous incarnations of Hell in a Handbasket. Since new readers have been kind enough to join us in the last year or so, I thought to dust off this old chestnut. The story I relate below actually happened many years ago, back when I was working for my local police.

A man was out walking his dog in the wee hours of the morning. An average guy, working stiff like most of us. He had just gotten off of his late shift job, and was looking forward to hitting the hay.

He noticed a great deal of commotion approaching from a cross street. Lights, sirens, screeching tires. The police were after someone, and they were heading his way.

A black van roared around the corner ahead of him, their lights off and driving so fast that it barely avoided a crash. Our protagonist noticed that a few big, dark balls rolled out of the open side door and came to rest on the curb. But the van didn’t stop, just kept on its way. A few seconds later, three police cruisers came around the same corner and sped off in pursuit.

Our dog walker listened to the sound of the sirens fade before he approached the objects. Turns out they were three trash bags, known in the UK as bin liners.

It was trash day, and the bags didn’t look out of place since everyone had hauled their garbage out to the street for pick up. Our dog walker thought it best to call the police and let them know about the bags, but first curiosity got the better of him. What could be in there? Drugs? A dismembered body?

So he opened one, and found that it was stuffed with crisp new money!

And so we get to the part of the thought experiment where you have to stop an mull things over.

Before going below the fold and finding out what happened, please take a moment for introspection. What would you do if there was a pile of free money that literally just fell in front of you? I know what I would do! Please share your impressions in the comments.

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A family down the street moved when I was a young child.  I remember standing on the sidewalk, watching the movers haul the stuff out of their house and pack it into the truck.

One of the professional movers intrigued me.  He had mechanical arms, but didn’t let that stop him.  He was in there, hauling away with the best of them.

Even though he didn’t have hands, he was very skilled with the prosthesis.  There might have been something he couldn’t do with his hooks, but there was nothing about packing and moving a house full of possessions that fazed him.  Even folding baby clothes and neatly placing them in a box was done just as fast and deftly as anyone I’ve ever seen.

I spoke to him briefly.  He said that he was a veteran of Korea.

That isn’t him, obviously.  Instead it is Sergeant Mary Dague, a veteran of a much different war, that took part someplace very far from Korea.  Her story is here.

I was thinking of that mover from long ago, and about Sgt. Dague’s efforts that are occurring right now, when I read this blog post.  Sensors placed on a large muscle group can be used to send signals to a wearable computer, opening doors or controlling an MP3 device.

The mover I encountered would be in his mid-90’s now, if he is still alive.  But I bet Sgt. Dague will be able to find some use for inventions such as this.

Continuing the series of apocalyptic movie rentals, I thought I’d go a bit more real world this time around.

Most of the films available for rent that deal with the post-apocalyptic landscape are adventure tales.  Brawny hero fights for the few decent people left.  Plenty of action, some comic relief, a little romance.  That sort of thing.

But what happens when someone decides to have a story that pays at least passing devotion to realism?  Usually it is one depressing movie!

Sometimes you get in the mood for serious.  So, with that in mind, here are a few titles that might tickle your fancy when you don’t mind contemplating the end of life as we know it.

Panic in Year Zero! (1962)

Ray Milland is the father of a typical family of four.  They set out on a camping trip, only to see the flash from atomic bombs light up the sky behind them.  After that, it is every family for itself as society rapidly breaks apart.

Ray Milland both starred in and directed this movie.  It is obvious that there wasn’t much in the way of a budget, but that really doesn’t matter all that much.  The plot focuses on the aforementioned family, and the steps they have to take to survive and find refuge when law and order breaks down.  The acting rises above the material, and there is a welcome amount of realism on display.  Don’t expect too much grit because, after all, it was released in 1962.  But, all things being equal, it was more believable than most post-apocalyptic films that came out around the same time.

The pacing is very snappy, the plot well thought out, the actions and motivations of the characters are reasonable.  Well worth your time.

Reader Ed Harris stole my thunder by suggesting this film, and he also wrote up a nifty and spoiler laden synopsis that is worth your time if you need more info about the plot.  Click on that last link of you are just dying to find out how it turns out.

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I just deleted a comment that read….

“This is my best spam for your f***ing spam blog!”

I have to admit that a certain warm glow steals over me when I receive such affirmations of support.

A reader sent an Email today, saying that she had come across mention of a “wildcat cartridge”. She was wondering if this meant the load was specifically designed to hunt wild cats, like lions.

That actually is a very reasonable assumption! If I had developed such a cartridge, optimized to take out charging lions before they clawed my all-too-soft flesh, then that is how I would market it.

Hurry up and shoot, already!

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Elmo has a comprehensive and reasonable platform for the next Presidential race.

Looks like he has my vote sewn up.

James is running a contest.  Answer the trivia question, and win a free date with….ME!

No, he didn’t clear it with me first.  Comes as a bit of a shock.

When will you bloggers appreciate me for my MIND?!?!?!  (sniff!)

UPDATE

It just occurred to me.  James thinks he can do this because he recently purchased my soul from Steven for two bucks.

Back when I started the charity self defense course, the really hot commodity in the defensive handgun market were Seecamps.

(Picture source.)

The L.W. Seecamp Co. had been producing small, high quality hideout pistols for about a decade by that time.  Demand was so high that the waiting list extended for years, and people who were looking to sell theirs could demand four or five times the list price.

It was totally insane!

Not that there is anything wrong with the handguns they produce.  Like I said, high quality.  It was just that I never could see the pressing need for that particular gun.  There were other choices, from other manufacturers, that were almost as small.  Why break the budget when other guns that would work just as well, but were just a little bit larger, could be had for a fraction of the price?

Eventually the frenzy died down.  I’m not sure what happened.  Either the demand naturally fell as those who couldn’t wait finally got their order filled, or maybe the L.W. Seecamp Co. finally managed to scale up production.  But now you can find Seecamps for something close to list price, and you don’t have to wait for years before it is available.

Surprising no one, mouse gun guru James has his own Seecamp.  It is a rare collector’s item, carefully kept safe in the presentation box to preserve resale value.  which means that James, unlike myself, actually owns a gun that is too valuable to shoot.

Don’t blame him one bit.

I discussed animated post-apocalyptic movies in this post.  At least one reader has penned an Email, taking me to task for not including Heavy Metal (1981).  Why didn’t I mention this groundbreaking film? I was asked.  Mainly because I can’t recommend it.

Inspired by the American version of a French magazine, an argument can be made that Heavy Metal was the first attempt in the US to produce a serious, adult themed animated feature film.  Three years in production, with a budget that was in the same general ballpark as Star Wars (1977), and all I can do is wonder where all the money went.

It probably was spent on the soundtrack, which was certainly exceptional.  In fact, disputes over the rights to the music used in the film held up the video release for 15 years.  Kind of surprising that Heavy Metal enjoys a very devoted cult following, considering how long it was out of the spotlight.

The movie is a series of vignettes, as a murderous glowing ball relates to a little girl how it has spread discord, misery and death throughout the universe.

No, really!  That is the plot!  A talking glow-in-the-dark bowling ball tries to scare a little girl by telling her tales about how badass it is.  These tales bind various dramas together.

Quality is rather uneven, as not all of the short stories will appeal to every taste.  The film does fit the criteria as a post-apocalyptic work, as some of the stories are set on dystopian futures after a holocaust.  One constant feature is how graphic violence and sex often plays a prominent part in the tales.

Although I didn’t find it impressive myself, there is no denying that it had an impact.  Start saying “Sternn!  Sternn!!!” in a commanding and disapproving voice when around a fanboy geek of a certain age, and watch how their eyes light up.  Be prepared to weather a torrent of dialogue from the film, as the aforementioned fanboy gleefully recites his favorite lines.  After sitting through it, you will certainly find yourself in agreement that someone should certainly be torn into little bitty pieces and buried alive.

The bottom line is that Heavy Metal provides a kick of pure nostalgia nirvana to those who first saw it during their formative years, but most new viewers will be puzzled as to why it has a following at all, cult or otherwise.  A rental is in order if someone wants to relive their youth, or if someone who has never before seen the work is curious as to the source of the fan’s devotion.  Otherwise it really isn’t worth your time.

Birthday cake!

(Picture source.)

It has been twenty years since I started the charity self defense course.  Most home invasions followed a predictable pattern back then.

The perps would gain entry by breaking the window on the back door, grab a knife as they walked through the kitchen, and then fan out through the house to subdue the legal inhabitants.  Sudden and extreme violence was the order of the day, shock and awe to destroy any thought of resistance.

Crimes that follow this pattern have become ever more rare, as criminals have become wary since private gun ownership has bloomed.  Ohio also enjoys the benefits of a concealed carry law, which means there are a lot of people walking around with the means to stop an attacker in their tracks.

But some still bitterly cling to the old ways.  Case in point is this sad tale of a woman who was attacked in her own home.

The details bring a strong sense of nostalgia to me.  The suspect broke the window on the back door to gain entrance, punched the legal resident in an attempt to subdue her, and even tried to cut her with a knife he snatched up while walking through the kitchen.  The good old days revisited.

There are some differences, however.  The suspect was working alone, when it is usual for a group of three or more to go on these little expeditions.  He also left without stealing anything, and I would have to say that it is likely because he couldn’t terrify the victim quickly enough to shut her up before her cries attracted the attention of the neighbors.  And it would seem that he knows the victim, when most home invasions are crimes committed by strangers.

Still, the way that the suspect hit all the usual points is intriguing to me.  What do you want to bet that he has done time for similar crimes committed in the past, and he was backsliding into his bad old habits?